We're Not Gonna Take It!
by Els-chan
Summary: (not a songfic) Tired of always being overlooked in the land of lurrrve (sorry), Ryouga and Mousse come up with "an incredibly cunning plan" to inspire jealousy in the objects of their affections.


Title: We're Not Gonna Take It!

Author: Els-chan

Chapter: 1/?

Fandom: Ranma 1/2

Genre: Humor, Angst

Rating: PG-13 to R at most

Main Pairing: Ryouga/Mousse

Warnings: Yaoi – that's two boys liking each other; Ryouga-angst (is anyone surprised? The poor boy just can't get a break, can he?)

Summary: Tired of always being overlooked in the land of lurrrrve (sorry), Ryouga and Mousse come up with "an incredibly cunning plan" to inspire jealously in the objects of their affections.

A/N: This is a result of my pairing cards. It's shounen-ai (m/m slash), so if you don't like that, well, read at your own risk. C&C is welcome, but keep the flames to a minimum, please. And if you must flame, please cite reasons why you didn't like it, so that I know what to improve upon. "This story sux" isn't very helpful, you know.

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"That's it! I've had enough!" Mousse cried, throwing down the cloth he was using to wipe down the tables in the Nekohanten. Shampoo had just returned from a delivery to the Tendo household, brimming with cheer at having nailed Ranma with one of her kisses. Granted, this was rather commonplace, but a guy can only take so much of seeing the girl he loves flirt with, pine over, and kiss another guy while ignoring him all together, and Mousse had reached his limit. He stormed out of the Nekohanten without so much as a backward glance. 

Nobody noticed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ryouga Hibiki found himself in a very odd-looking forest indeed. He hadn't realized that cement and telephone poles were, in fact, naturally occurring. It would, however, explain the manhole he'd nearly fallen into a few moments ago. He sighed deeply. Lost again. He was getting quite sick of it. He couldn't help but wonder, though, if he might be near Akane Tendo's house. It would certainly be nice to see Akane again…Then again, seeing Akane would probably mean seeing Ranma as well, and he wasn't sure if he was up to that – not after Ranma had found out his terrible secret.

You see, Ryouga liked boys.

Well, he liked girls, too; he was bisexual.

Ranma hadn't taken the news quite the way Ryouga had expected, however. Of course, he certainly didn't expect Ranma to kill him or proclaim his undying love to him or anything like that, either. What he'd expected was disgust. What he'd gotten was a strange combination of understanding and…pity. Ryouga _hated_ being pitied, and being pitied by one of the objects of his affections…He was just thankful that he hadn't told Ranma that _he_ was the guy that he fancied. 

He probably never would, either.

Besides, his feelings for Akane were much stronger than his feelings for Ranma, anyway…at least, he _thought_ so. The more he thought about it, though, the less sure he was of that fact. He promptly stopped thinking about it and sat down on a nearby bench with a sigh. Why did his life always have to be so difficult?

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Mousse wandered along the streets, desperately trying to think up ways to win Shampoo's affections – or at least get her to notice him, for once. Suddenly, he noticed the bane of his existence sitting alone on a nearby bench. Seething, he decided that taking Ranma out once and for all would work just fine, and even if he hadn't managed it thus far…well, this time would be different!

"Ranma! Prepare to die!"

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"Ranma! Prepare to die!" Ryouga heard a familiar voice cry out in rage. He looked around for Ranma, but couldn't see him anywhere. He did, however, notice Mousse, who seemed to be charging directly at him. He sighed – he was really not in the mood to fight right now. He blinked twice before dodging the crazed Amazon, then grabbed him and pinned his arms behind his back.

"Whoa, whoa! I'm not Ranma!" Ryouga said before releasing the struggling boy. Mousse turned and peered closely at Ryouga from behind his thick glasses.

"Oh. Hello, Hibiki," Mousse greeted the Lost Boy, disappointment evident in his voice. "Have you seen Ranma?"

"Nope, sorry," Ryouga answered. "Why? What are you looking to kill him for now?"

Mousse shrugged. "Just on general principles. You know – taking Shampoo from me, generally being a nuisance; that sort of thing."

"Ah," Ryouga nodded his understanding. "Still after Shampoo, eh?"

"What do you mean, 'still'?! My love for Shampoo is undying!" Mousse declared irritably. 

"Right, sorry," Ryouga quickly apologized. "So, you want to kill Ranma to win Shampoo? Haven't you already tried that? Several times? And it's never worked?"

"Oh, you're one to talk, Mr. 'Ranma, I'll kill you and take Akane Tendo'," Mousse grumbled. "Well, oh great guru of undying wisdom, what do you propose then?"

Ryouga shrugged. "I don't really know. I just don't see how trying to kill Ranma again is going to do any good. It's never worked before." He paused for a moment before an idea struck him. "But maybe…"

"What is it? Do you have an idea?" Mousse asked.

"Well, yes, but I'm not sure…"

"Look, if you have a plan, then just tell me already! I don't have time to waste!"

Ryouga sighed. "Fine, fine. Here's the thing…"

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End chapter 1

Remember! C&C is an author's best friend! (That and a spell-checker…)


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